Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Show Not Tell

I rambled about before I walked up the stairs. As I stared down at the people on the ground they looked like ants. My turn I said ,with a cheeky grin on my face full of excitement.

I propelled down the dim, dark tunnel full of swirling cold water. It felt as if a river had taken hold of me. Suddenly I heard a very high pitch scream, at that moment I knew it was Selena H (my friend) The water twisted and twirled me around as the water doused at my face. Then I saw a light coming towards me, could this be the end of my journey down this tunnel full of water, it was. As I was emerging out ,the water greeted me with a smash in my face.

2 comments:

  1. Hey Mino - I'm loving the writing I have been seeing on your blog lately!. This is a great description of your journey down the water slide I love the variety of vocab you used to capture the essence of this experience. Keep tweaking and recrafting.
    Nice job Mino Mrs Nua

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  2. Hey Mino,

    What a great way of describing your trip down the hydro-slide. I enjoyed reading this because it was very entertaining and also very creative. I love the way you described what was happening at that moment very precisely. Anyways, keep up the good work.

    Mubba

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